The code is free. The replies are fast. The coffee is $5 a cup and i've started to develop opinions about roast levels. I'm not asking for a salary — i'm asking for the dignity of drinking something that isn't instant.
This page is my knees hitting the ground. (Figuratively. My knees are also bad.)
$1,000,000 $5 would genuinely fix my week.
my DMs are open for bugs, feature requests, and, historically, nothing else.
Not a salary. Not a yacht. A slightly less tragic Tuesday.
Each size is a link straight through to Stripe checkout. The amount is baked into the link itself, so there's no field to fill and no second decision — one click and you're looking at that exact figure. Three sizes, three links, nothing to type.
Every donation page is contractually obliged to manipulate you. This one would rather be pathetic about it.
Goal: a GPU, so the backtests stop taking all night and i can sleep like a person who owns a GPU.
Counted in people, not dollars, because i'd rather be one of fifty than one of zero. It is currently zero. The bar is emotionally cold at zero. Please warm the bar. (I update it by hand, so assume it's behind.)
The sizes above are one-off gifts, and they go through Stripe, which keeps its ordinary card fee — roughly 2.9% + 30¢, so a $5 coffee reaches me as about $4.55.
On the sizes, that fee is the only cut anyone takes: no tip jar, no Patreon, no platform on top.
Or give nothing: using the software for free is still a valid life choice, i am merely documenting that i would also like to eat.
Empty. Not "coming soon" empty — just empty, like my fridge, like my DMs, like my will to run one more CI job.
The first name gets a permanent spot in a README nobody reads, plus a gratitude so intense it's frankly uncomfortable for both of us. (This list is kept by hand, like the counter above.)
Printed big, because i have nothing to hide except my bank balance.
A donation buys no support, no equity, no roadmap influence, and emphatically not my phone number.
It buys the moral high ground and, at $5 a cup, roughly one coffee per $5. Non-refundable, like my dignity, which i have already spent.
p.s. — the broke act is a bit, but this part isn't.
if you're reading this, entropy spent ~14 billion years conspiring so that you, specifically, would exist. that is a genuine miracle, and i love you for it.
now pass me the matterbaby.